I'm not gonna write you a love song

Ok that title has nothing to do with this post lol. I decided to write, and am not sure what direction I might go, so when thinking of a title, that song popped in my head. I guess it fits, because I'm not gonna write you a love song here lol!

B was paying the cable bill a bit ago, and when he was entering in the card number I thought, hmmm. It might be fun to compose a song with the melody the numbers make when entering a string of numbers. I'd never do my card number, because leave it to some techno geek to figure out the tones. But wouldn't that be fun, if you have lyrics and can't think of a melody?

I'm importing the Frank McCourt books that Cabana's Puppy Raiser so graciously sent me, which I have been forgetting to import. Man, audio books take forever. Are they more complex than music cds? The second one just got done importing and I started an hour ago. I think the second cd went quicker than the first one. Maybe my cd drive was tired since it hasn't worked in awhile? It was sure making some strange noises doing that first cd.

I was going to do some cleaning today, along with laundry and weekend chores, but I just don't feel like it. I'm definitely doing a lot better with the recent sick jag, but I'm still feeling a little weak, and I don't feel like eating anything I have in the house. Cleaning on an empty stomach isn't good. I'm feeling some turmoil lately, and that sort of thing always seems to affect my eating and sleeping. Might be time to go see my therapist for a check-up.

I've been getting to meetings all week and its been great. to actually get out and see people is such a good thing, and it really made me realize how uch I've put everything else ahead of my recovery, which is not a good thing. If I place things in front of my reocovery, I risk drinking again, and losing all the things I put ahead of recovery, so I need to keep an eye on that.

It's been so nice hanging out with Kevin this week. I'm going to be so adsad What the heck, I can't edit...can't delete, oh hell. I'll just post. when he leaves again for work, right after Thanksgiving. Tonight he was asked to share at a meeting by Georgie's boyfriend, and I wanted to go since I've never heard his story all in one share before. Georgie invited us over for bbq before the meeting, so I'm so looking forward to that! Kevin has found a new love for golf, so he's golfing today and his t time was at noon. Georgie wants us at her house by 6, and Kevin is anticipating about a 4 hour game. Georgie and I are afraid that goal is a little "out there", being a late t time on a weekend. If there are people ahead of him, his game might take forever. So I'm planning on being ready by 5 just in case. I can't wait! I keep hoping the day will fly by, but it's dragging.

That was a long paragraph.

I didn't sleep all that well last night. B always goes to bed really late on weekends and he has this iPod alarm clock, that will play the iPod in sleep mode for a bit. I wear an ear plug in my left ear and I had forgotten to put it in, so the music woke me up and then I couldn't tune it out. Then I had a coughing fit and decided to move to the couch, a place I never ever sleep. Spinelli must have thought this was some new middle of the night adventure, so she got on my and started digging in the blankets. Darned cat. I was hoping to sleep late today to kill some time, but no. My internal clock is officially set to wake up before eight, no matter if its a weekend or a week day.

So I got up and got right on the Facebook problem. I'm really hoping they write back. They have in the past. But it seems like most sites don't bother when it comes to accessibility.





I'm really freaking out about my cd burner right now. Its been making some really funky noises. And now its silent, but its not done importing. Ick. I just was able to eject the disk but I don't think the whole thing imported. Ut oh. Good thing the Macbook is under warranty, but what will I do if I have to send it in for repair? Oh no, I can't even think about that...

..



Almost time for afternoon coffee! Man, I've had to stop with the energy drinks. For some reason when Kevin's in town, we get them, but they were tearing my stomach up. I can't let them mess up my stomach so much that I can't drink coffee lol!



Ok, I'm frustrated right now. Sometimes I get really annoyed trying to be in the same room with B when I'm working on my computer, which is all tht time, since he's always on his computer or watching sports. So today he put in some DVD about bon Jovi. All of the sudden its freakin loud. I turned up my volume a little bit, but I'm really careful with my ears. So some music started and it was loud so I took my headphones off and got up and he's like, sorry, the volume keeps changing on the dvd. Yeah, I get that. i really considered moving my computer into the bedroom. I don't want the volume on my headphones loud. I don't understand why he doesn't seem to get how important my ears are. I don't like being around really loud things. I think I'm getting to a point where so many little things are annoying me, that one more little thing just gets blown up in my mind. This is just a scary place to be in. I start wondering, why am I getting annoyed so easily? Why am I missing my old apartment, where I lived alone? Should I be thinking these things? What does it mean that I'm thinking these things? Ick. I don't know. I tend to over analyze a lot. Maybe I'm just in a pissy mood. Maybe I'm just sick of sports and heavy metal music. Maybe I wish every now and then, my music could be on in the house. But no, oh no, don't make him listen to country. Ok, didn't mean for a rant to pop ut. I obviously need coffee. Better go make it.

Got coffee. I was just thinking what my therapist would say if I told her what I just wrote. She would say, how old are you right now? Yeah. Like 6. Throwing a tantrum. An inward tantrum, or a tantrum on the blog, but a tantrum nonetheless.

I can't seem to think of anything fun to write and manage to launch into a rant. I hate that. My laundry is done. I'll take a break and think about whether I want to write anymore. If the post ends abruptly, you'll know I gave up lol.

Cats must love warm laundry. I just dumped an entire basket of laundry right on Fi and she just laid there. When we first got Spinelli, she would race into the bedroom and attack the laundry as I was putting it away. I used to pick her up and put her in the basket and throw the stuf to be folded in on top of her. She would nestle in and fall asleep haha. She's not so into that anymore, but she still comes in to lay on the laundry. I suppose it would feel really good, to be surrounded by fresh clean warm laundry. Wish I had enough clothes to dump a bunch of clean laundry on the bed and roll around in it lol.

Its almost 2 now. A few more hours to go. Doing more of that killing time thing before the fun starts. Seems like life is all about waiting. Waiting. Waiting for the next thing. Waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting for that email ding. Waiting for the coffee pot. Waiting for the bill that's due. Waiting for blog posts new. How did I just turn this into a poem. LOL! Seriously though. Lately I just feel like I'm constantly waiting. Waiting for word about the guide dog. Waiting for my ries to show up. I like being on time, especially if someone is picking me up, I think its rude to keep them waiting, so I'm always ready ahead of time, and find myself standing around waiting for them. Hurry up and wait. Waiting.

I don't necessarily think its a bad thing. I'm not saying waiting is bad. For me, when I find that I'm waiting, I'm usually excited about something. I find that at night, I can't wait to fall asleep, because I can't wait to wake up. I love it in the mornings, hearing the rumble of the coffee pot, hearing the drip drip, smelling the brew. Hearing the birds coming alive. Hearing cars start up. Hearing B's alarm go off. Anticipating the day. I never used to be like that. Back in my drinking days, I'd wake up and almost be sad that I woke up. Or rather, came to. I'd have the jitters, a headache, an upset stomach. Yuck. I much much prefer my life today, even though I'm feeling in a lot of limbo right now. Its not the fear of the unknown anymore. Its the wondering what comes next. What adventure lays ahead? Even turmoil is almost fun right now, the more I think of it.

Oh more cat stuff. Spinelli has figure out how to get this dangling toy off the scratching post. B would find it missing, locate it, put it back on, and she always does it when we're not around. Well, she just did it and B watched her do it. He put it back, and she got it off again. I wonder if the toy was designed that way? A challenge for the cat. Kinda like putting kibble in a cong lol.

My arm had gotten all messed up again. My computer cart is most comfortable at the couch when its at kind of an angle. But that was messing up my arm, so I put it in front of the couch so that I'd lit at it straight, but I have to prop myself up on pillows to be close enough to it. I really need a laptop cart with skinny feet that will slide under the couch. So my arm had gotten better, so I put it back where it was more comfy, and my arm got all screwed up again, so now I have it all stright again. It doesn't help that I mostly sleep on my right side, so that arm is just getting totally beat up. I'm hoping getting back in the gym on Monday is gonna help. I know it will. Working out was helping so much, that not doing it for 2 weeks is taking its toll. I cannot wait to get back in the gym!

I'm not looking forward to braille though. I haven't studied my punctuation. I have to be pared up with another guy, and I just don't see how thats gonna work. I really want to just do grade 2 through Hadley. I feel bad, because they rearranged that guy's schedule to accomodate me for funding purposes. But I just don't see how doing braille with more than one student is going to work. I talked to Dave about it, and he said its totally up to me. That I shouldn't feel obligated to Saavi for braille. So we'll see.



I kinda want to get in the bath just to kill some time. Hmmm. Maybe. Do I feel like it? Its amazing how much bathing can kill my spoons. Sometimes a shower will totally rejuvinate me, and other times, it totally knocks me out. And baths usually take a lot out of me. I'm technically not supposed to sit in hot water. Heat can make my nerves inflame and can make the MS flair up, so all neurologists say to stay away from heat. But it feels so good, especially when I'm having nerve and/or muscle pain. So its a difficult situation. Hot showers tend to be fine because its fairly brief, where a bath is usually longer. Auto immune sucks.

Wow. I can't remember the last time I wrote a really fun post. I think I definitely need to see my therapist. I think I better put this post out of its misery now.

Adding "alt text" to images

Alrighty, I think I've got some good stuff.

First, I would like to say thank you again to everyone who is interested in doing this. Its been fun for me to learn more about this too. In fact, I just learned that by adding alt text to images, it helps with search optimization. So, if your blog contains a picture of a dog on a flexi, and someone searches the blogs for "flexi", your image description can actualy help your blog come up in search results.

I just read this on the first link I'm going to provide, which is actually a blogger post explaining how and why to add alt text in Blogger. Click here to read more.

The following links are linds to other articles about adding the alt text, and some of it is pretty technical, but interesting nonetheless. I think the blog post will be most helpful though, and thats why I put it first.

Here's another, and another, and yet another.

So those are all links about the actual code it takes to add alt text. But now, what if you're linking to an image in say Photobucket or Flickr? Here, I don't know if Blogger's html editor will help. You might actually need to find in Photobucket or Flickr or wherever you're uploading from, how to add the alt text there.

Now that you know how to add the alt text, you could actually go to your photo hosting site, and see about adding alt tags there, too. Now, I don't know if when you upload the photo, it will do this, or not. Its not something I asked, just something that was pointed out by Steve.

So, hopefully this will help. I might should have gone and searched about the photo hosting issue, but I've been kinda working all morning, not the actual job, but doing the whole advocacy thing when it comes to Facebook. I narrowed down the problem to one link I was trying to post, which I've posted before, so I don't know why I'm getting another security check. So thats my excuse for not searching about the photohosting and alt text.

If there are still more problems, like if you upload a photo from a web hosting site and can't add an alt text, let me know and I'll look into it.

Thanks again to the guys and gals at Webaim for sending me this info.

Happy programming!

Attack of the CAPTCHA

This is an email I actually sent to accessibility+nnscjnr@facebook.com

***

Dear Facebook,

When I signed up for my account, I needed sighted assistance, as I am blind and use a screen reader. During sign up, I was told that if I replied to a text message and proved I was human, I would never ever get a CAPTCHA again. My friend helped me reply to the text message and I never received another CAPTCHA.

Until now.

I tried to update my status, and it is telling me to do a security check and solve the CAPTCHA. I tried logging off and back on. Same problem. I use m.facebook.com, because your full site is not accessible to me, or I should say, incredibly difficult.

I promptly sent an email to my email list of other blind folks who Facebook, and they are experiencing the same problem. One of the members has some vision, but after 7 attempts, could not solve the CAPTCHA. She was however able to update her status on the main site. She is luckier than I.

This is not acceptable. Many blind and visually impaired folks use your mobile site to connect with friends and family. This problem needs to be resolved. An audio CAPTCHA isn't even available, but still would not be a solution, as many of us can't solve them anyway, and some of us are deaf as well as blind.

I hope I did not come across too rude. I made myself calm down before emailing you.

***

I am so angry right now.

Coming soon - Image description help

I've asked the folks at webaim for some good resources on adding alt tags and image descriptions. As soon as I get some good stuff, I'll compile it into a blog post.

This stuff is all very interesting to me too, and when I have a guide dog, I'm going to be doing photos myself, so it'll just be a good resource. I think spreading the word about accessibility to everyone possible, is a good idea too. I've got sighted friends all over the place now paying attention to accessibility stuff, so I think its great that the word is getting out there, even among novice programmers. Who knows who might have a site some day, where this stuff will be really important.

So, I should have a pretty informative post in the next few days, if not later this afternoon!

Thanks again to everyone learning this stuff. I know some of it is frustrating, but together we can all figure it out :)

This killin time

is killin me.

I might be hanging out with Kevin today, but he called around 11 and said he was golfing and it would be like 4 hours. So I don't know if that means we're hanging out 4 hours from 11 or what. I hate it when I'm all anxious and stuff. I get annoyed at days where my own company isn't enough lol! Makes me feel needy for people, even though I know being with people and socializing is a good thing. Kevin is only in town for short amounts of time, so I like seeing him as much as possible. Saturday night he's speaking at a meeting so I'm going, and my best friend Georgie (Kevin's nickname for her hehe) and her boyfriend are doing a bbq before hand, so hopefully we'll get to do that too. Yay! Its nice to have someone around with some time to chill. All my other friends are in school so they just never have time, and Carol has a worse time with her spoon drawer than I do.

I called my blindy friend earlier, my first ever blindy friend. I had lost her number and just got it again, so I was so hoping to catch up, but she wasn't home. She was the first one to tell me about GDB, where she got her dog, the first dog I met of the guiding variety. So I'm excited to tell her I'll be going at some point.

I've got no updates on school. Havne't heard a word. Might have to follow up yet again and see if the paperwork was all sent in or what. As soon as I have an update, the subject line will have doggy diaries in it.

So I'm just killing time until I might be with a human. UPS dropped off B's jacket today and the driver annoyed me. He knocked on the door, I open it and he's walking away. I'm like, hello? He's like, thank you! I'm like, what is it? He's like, its right there! And drove away. Urgh. Yesterday another UPS driver came to deliver what I know now to be my street pack from GDB but he bang bang banged on the door so loud and so foreceful in my quiet morning that my heart stopped and my stomach dropped from being so starteled, so I didn't answer the door. I assume its at the office. I thought about walking down the the office. I know how to get there. I just haven't done it alone, and I don't know how big the box will be that I have to carry while navigating with my cane. Man I can't wait for my dog.

So, just listening to music and not really doing anything. I should be looking at braille but I don't feel like it.

I don't think this post has killed enough time.

The weather is really nice. Its actually a tad chilled in here right now. I've got my door open for some fresh air and its the first day it hasn't been too warm to do this. I think winter is finally thinking about making an appearance. I wonder if I'll get to wear any crochet scarves this year.

Well, I don't have it in me to write a post about nothing, so I'll sign off.

Youtube and Google captioning for the deaf

This is cool.

Maybe descriptive audio will be next somehow, though after reading about the technology Youtube and Google will be using, it wouldn't work for descriptive audio.

I just love any kind of assistive tech and accessibility news. Can't wait to tell my friend who's highly involved in the deaf community.

I've gone Ro and managed to unfollow

It was decided. JayNoi left a comment and called me ro and I just liked the sound of it. So its official unless I change my mind again. Women's Sorry for typos, lazy.perogative, right?

I tried the unfollowing thing again with no success, over and over. Alex just went clunk clunk on the link, well he didn't go clunk his sound effects did. I was venting to Erik on yahoo and was about ready to give him the holy grail password into blogger to take her out when he left the keyboard for a minute, and I thought I'd try one more thing. I visited the blog, used the navigation and search bar at the top of the blog and clicked "follow" again, and it said "you already follow this blog, click to unsubscribe" yeeeee haaaaaw it worked!!! I was seriously ready to ask a sighty for help because I just couldn't take it anymore, and didn't have the will power not to read it.

Blinks, if I *ever* make us sound like useless wimps, give me a cyber slap. So there are 2 ocassions now that will earn me a cyber slap, sounding wimpy or not leaving the house.

Ok, I feel better. Oh I heard another blind term that I love, on L^2's bog, sorry not in the modd to link. "Blindy" lol!

gonna go do a happy dance now. I'll prolly blog again cuz I'm bored.

I loves my link chooser menu

Remember when I was complaining about the Dashboard not having headers I can use to skip past the list of blogs I follow to my reading list? Duh. Why didn't I think of my link chooser. A good ol VO plus U and there are all my links. I start typing vomit and it takes me to the last blog on the list and if I only click it once, I get right to my new blogs. Wow. Technology is great, when the user gets smart enough to use it.

Oh, and I really really really need to un follow that one blog. I can't not read it. Its like a bad car wreck, or a really horrible song you listen to to see if it gets any better, or a really horrible movie you've already wasted an hour of your life on so you waste another hour so the first hour wasn't a waste and then you've just wasted two hours and get a resentment for another two hours. I need to unfollow. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. Like I said before, I go to the list of blogs I follow and find this one and click settings and there's text that says unsubscribe or whatever, but it does nothing. Help!

Who got the solo?

Man, my post yesterday sure was pissy. I was in a mood, thats for sure. Anyway, things improved, I talked to a friend online and then another on the phone, and emotionally felt better. I was still a little phlegmy from being sick, but nothing too bad, and the sneezing has stayed away.

I got ready for choir and L picked me up at 7 and we went to rehearsal. Its getting down to the wire, only 2 real rehearsals left, as the last one before the concert will be at the actual venue, and we'll be doing staging and placement. So we got set to working really hard pretty quickly. We warmed up and the director told us we'd run through the songs and work on problem areas, and then get up on the steps and do some placement, and run through the whole show.

We might be cutting Snowfall, which is too bad because its really pretty and I think its pretty easy. But Uncle John and Sleighbells are 2 somewhat difficult songs, and we keep spending a lot of time on them.

Sleighbells is still the bane of my existance, but its getting better. The final phrase is sung really fast and we just weren't getting it, and I was getting so frustrated trying to figure out the beat and the words. So we actually spoke it out, breaking id down, and slowly sped it up until we could speak it. Its "jing a ling a ling a ring, jing jing. Hey! I could not get it. I kept whispering it under my breath and then L said, "Think of it like this, you need 2 lings to get a ring" and it clicked. Phew. But that song takes a lot outta me, even just sitting down. If we pull it off, it'll be a miracle. But the director is incredible, and she works wonders. I just hope we don't cut Snowfall.

I think we finally cleared up the trouble spot in Uncle John. The song was written for SATB, or Soprano alto tenor base. So there was one spot where the altos were supposed to sing a pretty high note, and it wasn't gonna fly. So the director kinda rearranged it and it cleared up the problem spots pretty well. Now we've just gotta work on singing the words really crisp and clear, or the point of the song will be lost. All this in 2 weeks, yikes!

While we were still sitting, she said, ok, Christmas Song. This is one of the songs I auditioned for, the one where if sung as written goes all high Beyonce style, so I had modified to stay low. She announced the soloist and under study and I was neither. Ok. Thats not the one I really wanted anyway. We didn't sing through it because no one said they had problems.

Eventually we got up on the steps, and she hadn't mentioned the other 2 solos, Santa Baby, which I didn't try for, and Merry Christmas Darling, the one I really wanted. We got placed and I'm on the very top row, which is nice because I'm on a big flat spot. After sleighbells, I stepped back and my butt hit something and I said, oh something's behind me. L said, yeah, the alter. I was like, God will forgive me if I lean on it. I was dizzy. Still recovering from being sick, and a lot of work on the songs.

We went through A Christmas song and the soloist sang. Then we got to Merry Christmas Darling. She still hadn't said who was singing the solo, and the solo is right at the beginning of the song.

So as an afterthought, she's like, oh the solo!

I'm holding my breath. I had wanted to shout out, what about Merry Christmas Darling! earlier in the night, but didn't want to sound too eager.

Time froze, who was gonna sing it? The other girl who I thought did really well on all 3 songs hadn't gotten A Christmas Song or Santa Baby and I just knew I had lost Merry Christmas Darling to her.

My knees went weak. I waited with bated breath, heart racing, thinking I had done well, but so had she.

I told myself not to lock my knees. This all happened in the span of like 5 seconds mind you.

So she announced the soloist for Merry Christmas Darling...

Hmmm, do you want to know?

Sighted people can just glance down, but sorry screen reader users lol!

Gotta go line by line now. You know me and my suspenseful self...

Really want to know?

By now you should have guessed...

Would I be this silly if I hadn't gotten it?

Yep! I got it! Wow! The song I wanted! And the main soloist, not the understudy!

So I find out like 20 seconds before I have to sing it. The piano intro is played and its time for me to sing. It came out well, except for one note that cracked, and after I was done I went like "bleajghick" and giggled lol.

After that we spread out to sing our last song, the new one we got last week. Its super easy. L and I will remain up there because of where we stand, so we'll be like front and center for that song, with all the other women spread out in the aisles. We went through that song and afterwards the director came up to me, told me I'm amazing and gave me a hug. I said thank you for giving me the solo, and she said, "I didn't give it to you, you earned it." And laughing she said, "I didn't just give the blind girl the solo" hahaha. The director's best friend, and the nurse who went on all our tours said, "You must have had a pretty good voice teacher growing up." I said, "Yeah, I was in this little choir with a pretty good director." Of course I was joking about the choir I grew up in, with the same director.

I owe so much to that woman. I joined her choir when I was in fourth grade. I moved through the beginning choir and into the intermediate choir in fifth grade, and didn't audition for the advanced choir, because I was too scared to go on tour while I would only be in sixth grade.

After the spring concert in 5th grade in the intermediate choir, we got tapes of the concert, and mine ended up blank. So over the summer, Mom and I went to the director's house to pick up a tape, and she told me she wanted me to audition right then and there for the advanced choir. This was highly unusual. She asked why I hadn't auditioned before, and I told her I was scared to go on tour. She assured me and Mom that the next tour would be to southern California and we would be going on a tour bus, so there wouldn't even be any flying.

So I auditioned that day in her house, and made advanced choir, and went to California the next April, while I was in sixth grade. We sold candy to raise the money, and then I got on that bus, leaving my family behind, for ten days.

We slept in a church hall and sang in a festival and went to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm. It was so awesome!

She gave me the courage as a sixth grader to leave my family and go on an adventure, and I went on 4 more adventures with her in the advanced choir, before I graduated choir in my sophomore year to focus on my junior and senior year of high school.

I remember on one of the tours, I broke away from the group to call home at a non-designated time. The director got really mad and took the phone from me and told my mom to "cut the apron strings". I don't remember how old I was, but I know it was one of the later tours. My Mom and I were so angry at the time, but looking back, I totally understand it. I needed to experience being "out there" on my own, in this safe group of people.

This director taught me poise and stage presence at a very early age, she taught us how to be respectful young women when we sang in the churches that put us up. We always stayed in non-denominational churches, because there were so many faiths of girls, or no faith at all. She, being the devout Mormon had only one request of us. "Oh my" and "God" were never to be in a sentance together. That was her only request. I still use that rule. She never pushed religion on us. We sang at the Sunday service as payment for staying in the church, and that was it.

She taught me about confidence, she trained my voice. That choir saved me, helped me feel a part of, helped me have a purpose, and I know it had a lot to do with the reason my drinking didn't start any earlier than it did.

She kept in contact with me over the years, and actually thought I was dead at one point, when she had lost touch with me. When I showed up at a concert unexpectedly, She cried and threw her arms around me, so happy to see me.

She always told me she would be here for me, whatever I needed.

I sang in her retirement concert when I was just under thirty days sober. It was such an honor to sing for her, at her 20 retirement. One of the songs was called "Motherless Child" and I remember her giving me a knowing look at the concert, when we sang that song.

When she found out I had MS back in 06, she called me to see if I was ok. I assured her I was, told her I was over a year sober, and she asked if I had God in my life. I told her I had found a power greater than myself, that I didn't go to church, but I had faith in something, not knowing what it was, and it was getting me through this diagnosis. She accepted that with no qualms, and was so happy for me.

Then, 3 years later, she offered me a place in her new choir, blind, not knowing how we'd figure it out. She assured me that it wasn't a strict choir, that some women need to sit for the concert, that it would be fine, we'd figure it out.

So thanks to L, I joined the choir. And the director thought I'm good enough to grant me the solo.

All the techniques she taught me all those years ago came right back. I sit up ttall in my seat to allow for diaphragm work. When she's working on parts with another voice, I slouch back, but as soon as I hear ok everyone, I snap up at attention ready to sing. L said last night when the director said ok seconds, I snapped into position and the director saw me and said I meant sopranos, and I relaxed again lol!


I didn't even mean to go into writing about this magnificent woman in this post, but my feelings overwhelmed me after writing about the solo, and it just kinda happened.

When I think about the past, and all my contempt towards religion, I think about her faith. Her undaunted faith, a faith she never ever pushed. And now that I've found my own undefined faith in something bigger than me, I think about those few persons of faith from all those years ago, who planted a seed in me,a see that would one day save my life, when I needed to rely on something other than myself, to pull me out of the gutter and go on living. And this woman gets a lot of credit for that.

She not only helped me find my voice, she helped develop me into the woman I would some day become, a woman I love, a woman I am proud of, a woman who can confidently audition for a solo, not the timid voiced little girl I used to be.

Haha I was just thinking she deserves her own label, and what would that be? I have to make it something to do with Mickey Mouse, because in choir we knew, if she was wearing the Mickey Mouse shirt, she meant business, and we best be on our best behavior. Hmmm, I'll need to think about this label :)

I love you Miss K, and oh here come the water works. I made it through this whole post without crying until now :)

Ok, I really don't know what to label her as. We never called her Miss K, but you know how I am about trying not to use names. I'm thinking about either Miss K or Miss Mickey hehe. Hmmm. I want to tell her all these things, but would I find the words in person or on the phone? Maybe I'll send her a link to this post. Yeah. I think I'll do that. After the concert when she's got time to relax.

Writing cuz I have to

I couldn't even officially sign up for that blog awareness month or knob lo pomo thing I know I didn't spell it right but oh well, but I decided to do thirty posts in thirty days so I have to write something. I messed up my arm for those 5 days were all I did was sit on the computer, so it hurts if I do too much online. Its like nerve pain all along my bicep. I've moved my computer cart so its a little better position wise, but I need like 4 pillows to prop me up enough on the couch. I need something with really skinny feet that will slide under my couch. I went to a meeting with Kevin and then we sat on my front porch chatting and listening to music, and he actually wanted to listen to me sing, which was nice, because B just isn't into that. I got to show off my iTunes skill and find a song Kevin likes, and he hasn't seen me work on the computer so he was way impressed. Then he got a phone call from a friend and had to go, and I was left feeling really lonely. I freakin hate that. Just like last week on Tuesday, I had been stuck at home for days and then finally got out and it was so nice, so its the same today. Hopefully I'm done being sick, and can go out tomorrow too. Got rehearsal tonight, and we'll find out about solos. So I'll let you all know how that went tomorrow. Nothing else to say, in kind of a soppy mood right now.

Puppy Raisers do it again

Three, count them, three posts today by puppy raisers caring enough to make their visual materials enjoyable for us screen reader users.
Check out Megan's post, where she describes her puppy in wonderful detail, and the image descriptions are fab!

And here, Maddie is trying to figure out how to do alt tags, so if anyone has any ideas, give her a comment.

And here, Natalie included some videos of her boyfriend Darrell and guide dog Egypt, and she graciously included links to the youtube videos after I expressed confusion :)

I first discovered the joys of labeled pictures when I started reading guide dog handler L^2's blog, where she includes wonderful alt tags and even posts where its just a picture is enjoyable to me.

I could understand why she did it, because she's visually impaired so she gets it lol. Its when the sighted take a vested interest in making visual elements pleasing for us, that I get all misty eyed and heart warmed.

Wow wow wow and thank you, each and every one of you!!!

Conveying tone and should I be more than R?

I use a lot of :) and ;) or =D though not that one as much where I know screen reader users are reading because it doesn't say anything but equals D lol. I use a lot of lol or LOL or haha and hehe. I've always done this when writing emails or in chat or on Facebook, and here in the blog, because its so hard to convey tone through text.

I remember just after I went blind, someone from the mental health forum called me, and she said I sound just like I type. I can only assume she means because when I talk, I naturally laugh, not because when I talk on the phone I actually say lol or smilie hahaha!

It became apparent to me last night, that this sort of thing is even more important using a screen reader. Alex sounds very human, but he also still sounds very deadpan. Are you a fan of Mitch Hedberg? Did I spell his name right? Anyway, I love him, and part of his delivery is deadpan, which makes his jokes all the funnier. But when it comes to comedians, you know they're being funny. Not necessarily so when listening with a screen reader. Alex sounds a lot like Mitch Hedberg when I'm reading something funny, and I often think its that which makes things even funnier.

Let me see if I can think of some examples. Like, when my friend says hi on the messenger, he'll say "hey". This sounds very non excited, like you'd say hey to someone you're not too happy to see. If he says "hey!" there is the smallest of difference, but I don't have Alex announcing punctuation, so I can never be too sure there is an exclamation point, unless I interact with the text.

If my friend is teasing me on messenger and says something like, "I can't believe you go to bed at 8, you're such a loser" and she doesn't put a smilie or a haha, I might think she's actually judging me, even though I know she's just teasing. But, I know her, so its not necessary to add the haha or hehe.

But I learned last night that its important for me to add something to convey the tone of my messages. If I say "why are we being nuts about this?" and a screen reader reads that, its going to sound very deadpan. I should say "LOL! Why are we being so nuts about this haha" it comes across so differently.

I'm writing this because there are times when I think I'm doing :) or haha or LOL too much, but its really important in my opinion, to help convey tone, so I'm not gonna think I do it too much anymore. So hahahaha and hehehehehe and lol!

On to wondering if I should be more than R. When I first started this blog, I had no idea if I'd keep up with it, or ef anyone would read, so I just slapped R on it because I didn't want to use my name, and still don't. But just R? I really notice it when someone links to me in their post, or refers to me in a comment. It'll be like "I had the idea to write this because of something 'link' R said." Ick. Just R. Or if someone replies to a comment and they have to just write, "thanks R". LOL! Am I getting neurotic about this? I even thought about assigning a name to B. So he's not just B. So, on the old mental health forum, I went by Raynaadi. Its a screenname I came up with forever ago. People nicknamed me Ray or Ray Ray, but that was never a favorite. So I thought about just changing it to Ro. Ro Laren, a Cardassian from Star Trek TNG. Show off my geekiness lol. And then I thought B could be bo. How corney. Ro and Bo. Better than R and B.

So what do you all think, should I be more than R?

Oh, I'm feeling a tad better today. Just got that last vestige of sick, the occasional sneeze and cough. Might leave the house tomorrow, knock on wood.

Boredom leading to blogging

***Warning: This post is incredibly long and holds no real value except for entertainment for myself, so don't feel obligated to read***

This is gonna be more nothing, because I'm still totally brain dead, but now I'm bored and starting to get stir crazy. I've been able to sit up most of the day, so thats a good sign. B went and got me Lipton Noodle Soup because I was really craving it. He was going to get it yesterday when he ran to the store, but he forgot it, so I asked him if he could get it today, and he obliged. I really think it helped. After sitting over the hot bowl, I had a ginormous coughing fit, and now my lungs don't feel so tight. The sneezing has slowed down. Oh please, please let this be the home stretch. I hate that I couldn't make it to Gamma's again today; this makes two Sundays in a row. I'm also skipping Saavi tomorrow, which bumms me out, but I'm playing it safe. I have to make it to choir on Tuesday. We'll be finding out about solos, and she might have narrowed it down to a few who will run through the solo when we rehearse the songs, so if I made the cut, I really hope I can sing come Tuesday. I sound a bit like a frog though, so hopefully I don't pull a Carlotta on Tuesday.

Its a seriously slow internet day. Hardly any new blog posts or emails. I'm too brain foggy to find any new blogs. I did find one blog written by a guy caring for his wife with MS, and it sounds like she's legally blind from it too. I couldn't tell if her blindness was caused by something else, though.

Oh, football Sundays. Oh oh, football Sundays. B watches Red Zone or something, where they recap every game going on. They cut to whatever game looks like might have a score. B is severely ADHD, so its heaven for him. I was eating my soup and I told him that channel is a non-football fan ADHD nightmare. It sounds so frantic. I don't envy the guys that have to run that channel.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous today. 67 degrees and sunny. It rained yesterday, and I had no clue it was nice out. Our electric bill has already dropped dramatically. I had to put the heater on to get the chill out today. Gamma asked if I got that rain smell, which unfortunately I didn't because I can't really smell right now. There is no smell like rain on the desert floor. None like it. The smell coming up from the creosote getting moist is a smell I can't even describe. Earthy, yet almost sweet. That doesn't even begin to do it justice. I hope I get to smell it next time.

Timmy lkes to get under the blanket I have covering the couch. Its his favorite place to sleep. Spinelli likes to attack him when she notices he's there, and they had a romp fest on the couch a bit ago and B said it was WWE. The other day, B sat right down on Timmy under the blanket. I said I'm the blind one, thats my job. Though I'm pretty good at the hand sweep to check for cats. I didn't do it the other day on the bed, and sat on Timmy. He gets the brunt of the butts around here. The other cats seem to know where to sit where its safe. Poor Timmy!

Man, this blog is feeling so dull to me. this is why I've avoided writing while not feeling well, but I honestly didn't know what else to do right now. I can't even manage to try anything new with the computer or iTunes because I'm so brain foggy I just get frustrated. I need to import those Frank Mccourt books, but every time I think of it, my brain moans. Its not hard. But it takes attention that I just don't have right now.

Well, this is just silly. I've got nothing to say and I can't even manage to be silly. I've got no quick stories. I haven't left the house since Tuesday. So no fun adventure stories. Just sick stories. Oh speaking of sick, my kitchen, holy God is it a mess. Thats the worst part of being sick, not keeping up on house work. That kitchen is going to be hell to clean. And I bought a Swiffer Wet Jet a few weeks ago, and its still sitting in the box in a corner. I keep forgetting to have B put it together. I bet I can figure it out. I put together a portable DVD player last year, I bet I can handle the Wet Jet. Dunno though, there might be lots of little pieces.

I'm inflicting my boredom on others. I'm so mean. though, you did choose to read this. Carin, where are you? I talked to Steve today. But you've been MIA. Did he eat you? Are you really the same person, pretending to be 2 people? Is Steve really your alter ego?

Third and a yard. Thats what the TV just said. Oh he said it again. First and goal. Yay. I don't like football. I miss baseball.

Ding ding ding goes the email. I keep wanting to eat chocolate. All day I want chocolate. And unfortunately we have chocolate. So I eat it. It tastes so good with coffee. Give me a break give me a break break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. Yum.

We got Red Lobster last night. I need to remember that I only need 2 items when I do that create your own deal. 3 items is too much. It was pretty good. How can anyone not like seafood? I can't imagine being allergic to it. Did you know if you're allergic to shell fish, you should never allow anyone to clean you with iodine?

Kitty eating. Spinelli cracks me up at night. Actually all the cats do at night, but especially spinelli. I usually go in and lay down with the telli at about 8 and I shut the door, because B starts his nightly ritual of playing baseball on the Playstation and listening to music. If I don't shut the door, I hear the music. Some of it is ok, like Nirvana and other grunge bands, but not when I'm watching tv and especially not when a death metal song comes on. I hate death metal. It makes my heart race. The cats know when I'm heading into the room, and Fi is usually already on the bed. Timmy meows and follows me in there and cuddles, and then Spinelli realizes I'm not in the living room and scratches at the door. As soon as she's in, the other 2 want out. Fi scratches at the door and meows and Timmy gets on the dresser and bumps the handle so it rattles. I get up and let them out, sometimes I'm lucky and B hears it and lets them out. Its just Spinelli and me and she meows and walks all over me for awhile and then she has to bathe. At 9 on the dot, B comes in to take his Flonase and Spinelli jumps like a gun went off and follows him into the bathroom. She knows its food time. B leaves the door open for a bit so Spinelli can eat and come back in. Then he closes the door and starts the music again, and she curls up and goes to sleep. We are definitely a family of routines. The cats will be so incredibly confused when I start taking a dog outside at 9 or 10 ha!

Spinelli is now on my lap bathing herself. She fits in well with her neurosis.

B just said John Lachey is the big free agent this year, and it doesn't look like he's coming back to the Angels. Man, ok I hate the Yankees, but at least some of their players are seriously loyal. Though, I bet they're only loyal to the Yankees because of money and fame, so forget I said that.

B's fantasy football team is doing well. Its his first year doing it, so it took awhile to get the hang of it. He was in last place for awhile and now he's tied for fourth. I'm thinking of doing fantasy baseball next year, but I'm not sure. I'd hate to have to root against my teams.

Sniff sniff goes the nose. I hate the word nose. Its ugly. But only nose on the face, not knows like she knows. Why do I hate the word nose? I think I don't like noses. Kevin wanted me to feel his teeth last week because he got them cleaned. He was like, feel my teeth I got them cleaned! I'm like no I'm not touching your teeth. I don't like touching noses or teeth. I'm totally fine with feet, just not noses or teeth.

Ding. Probably more emails on the email list. I enjoy the list, but sometimes its just topics I don't really care about. this one guy got snarky yesterday. Out of the blue. Snark. wow. Same with the accessibility list. It got kinda snarky there too, when I asked some questions about Jaws and Window Eyes for my boss. It got snarky, a blink saying something about developers don't know anything about websites or something, and they should hire blind people. I had to defend my boss, and then she had to come defend herself and I felt like a tool. She told me not to worry, that thats why she just reads the list, but doesn't post anymore.

Snarky. I like that word. Snarky snark. Meep meep.

Crap. I shouldn't have said earlier that I think I'm in the home stretch. The coughing and sneezing is starting again. crap crap crap, shut up about it quit jinxing.

Oh, saying jinx makes me think of X, the letter, and I"m wondering something. Flexi. Ah! Thats it! Ok, I've heard people referring to "putting the dog on the flexi" but Alex says flexi like flessi, and I've never interacted to spell it out, so I thought they were saying flexi but maybe it was really flessi and it was a brand or something. I'm assuming flexi is that leash that comes out so the dog can run around while still being tethered. Flexi. Ha!

Think I've killed enough time. Maybe now there are some fun emails or blog posts.

Plugs and rambles

I've left 2 windows up to remind me to plug two sites and I keep thinking I'll blog when I feel better, but I have no idea when that will be. So I decided to blog to make sure I get these 2 down so I can close the windows, and figure whatever else comes out, comes out. I think Silicone Sassy and the vacuum are still gonna wait, as I want to be of full brain capacity so I remember the stories.

So let me plug these two sites and I'll see if I feel like writing any more. Maybe I'll just leave this up before posting, I don't know.

B went to a friend's house on Friday night. There are few things I need his help with these days, as I've gotten pretty stubborn about needing a sighty to help. Friday night tv has been one of the things I need help with. I don't watch a lot of tv, really I only put the tv on at night when I go lay down, as I've always fallen asleep to tv. I've got my usual channels, USA for Law and Order SVU on Tuesdays and House on Thursdays. Every other night I usually check out Discovery Health and Investigation Discovery. Friday nights usually were Forensic Friday on True TV, though that channel drives me nuts because their commercials are a hundred decibels louder. Since the time change, and we don't change here, everything is on later. So no more Forensic Friday.

A lot of times on Fridays and Saturdays, B will have to come in and look at the stupid digital menus to find me a movie or something. I like movies I've already seen, because I know whats going on.

So when he was gonna be out late on Friday night, I thought great, how am I gonna find something on tv. So I Googled "accessible tv listings".

Thank you Google.

I found a blog in the results, a blog I've read before. Blind Access Journal was like the third result on Google. Holy crap doing that link almost shut down my brain. Ok, one more link.

The blog talked about TV Guide Wireless, which is a really cool little tv guide site for wireless phones, and just like mobile Facebook, works pretty well. You can register your phone or something to create custom listings, but I just hit skip register, and then you put in your zip code and select the cable company. It works pretty well. You can change the time. The only thing that kinda sucks is that you can't see whats on in the next time frame without changing the time, so you can't just see whats on one channel all night, or maybe you can and I just need to explore it.

Anyway, point is, I was able to find a movie to put on while Brian was out, and it was one of my old favorites, Point of No Return. It was on channel 155, so the chances of me having flipped all the way up there were pretty slim.

The blog post was written in 2007, so hopefully this site with the mobile tv guide will always be up, since its been up quite awhile, but I sent some feedback anyway.

I used it last night too, and found Con Air on one of my usual channels, and The Matrix on a channel I wouldn't have checked. So until the day they make audible digital menus for tv, this will work, though I have to check it before I go lay down, which is a bummer.

Ok now I can close those windows yee haw!

Ok now on to nothing in particular, because so far my arms aren't aching from typing and I've missed rambling. I need to un-follow a blog. Don't worry, its no one I've actually talked to, no one who has commented me, no one who owns a dog or a puppy, no one who writes for a living, no one with fun blind stories, no one with personal stories, so none of you who I've talked to in any way shape or form, and even if I haven't talked to you, its none of my followers. Carin and Steve, you know who I'm talking about. I can't figure out how to unsubscribe though. I found the place to go view the list of all the blogs I follow, and there's a link that says "settings" and I click on that, and there's text that says "unsubscribe" but its not a link or anything. I can't unsubscribe. And I'm her only follower. I just don't want to read it anymore. I mean, yeah, I complain about things in the "blind world" like inaudible digital tv menus that aren't accessible. But I finally got sick of it and found a workable solution, sure, not a perfect one, but a solution nonetheless. I am a solution based person. And this particular blog just talks about all the things we can't do, or things that are difficult, and telling the sighties what we can and can't do and making us all sound like children, and I can't even comment her because she has a CAPTCHA which Carin solved and commented, and was ignored. So I don't want to follow anymore. But I can't get unsubscribed. Any ideas?

I've been spelling Carin's name wrong the whole time I've known her on here. Carin and Karen sound identical. I only figured it out when I was gonna email Carol, and when I typed c-a-r in the "to" filed in Mail, it auto filled with Carin's email and I was like, huh? So I interacted and spelled out her name. Oh. C-A-R-I-N. Oops. So I asked her and its pronounced just like Karen. Now I've got it right, but when I was linking her and Steve just now I started to type Karen again. Sheesh.

Now I'm going to complain about being sick. Today is Day 5. I didn't go to Gamma's last week because B was sick and I didn't want her to get sick. Then I got sick on Wednesday and thought for sure I'd be ok by today. Not. Its moving into my chest now. Its all tight and when I cough, it burns. My nose is raw from all the Kleenex, and my ears keep plugging up, which really freaks me out. I haven't been this sick in a long time. Usually its just the spoons with the MS. Now I've got an actual cold from hell and it sucks. I can't take immune boosters, well, I could, but I choose not to. Its scary for those of us with autoimmune to have a hyper active immune system, because what body part might my immune system attack? So I drink OJ and take Thera Flu at night. I don't take anything during the day because I hate feeling stoned. But this thing just ain't goin away. I guess I'm kinda glad its going slowly, because maybe that means my immune system is just chillin and taking its time, and it won't get so hungry it wants more and so it won't go after another important nerve. Crossing fingers. See that? wow. I even found a silver lining to this cold not going quickly. I'm so glad I have that talent, to find something good in just about anything. Even that blog I don't want to read anymore causes me to be grateful I'm not like her.

Hmmm, blogging is actually not killing me. As long as I don't do links. Seriously, 3 links and my brain was like nooo don't make me think, haha!

I spent all day yesterday reading the stories on the blogothon. That was great! What a great idea! I couldn't donate though, apparently Alex doesn't like the donate form. Gotta do it over the phone. Oh but Alex sure didn't mind the new GDB store, bad blogger, not linking. I went to check out this street pack everyone on the email list was talking about. Someone wrote me off list to give me a good description of the bag, and said they were clearing them out. I was gonna sleep on it, and come back today, but then another woman on the list said she was gonna get it for her birthday, so I decided it would make a good "new job" present for myself, and its jut the kind of bad I've wanted, so I went to test it out and Alex liked the store and told me to buy it. So I've got a new bag coming. Its the kind with one strap, that goes over the shoulder and you can swing it around to get into the bag without taking it off. As soon as I realized I'd need to carry a good sized bag when I have a guide dog, I've wanted one that style. And its got the GDB logo on it. So really, it was a must have. Retail therapy is so fun when sick :)

My arms are starting to hurt. Gonna see how my brain handles editing. Oh yeah, not going to Saavi tomorrow again :( I haven't worked out in over a week. Bullocks.

B is a carpenter!

I'm still pretty sick, and just don't have the mental capacity to tackle the blogs I want to write, but I just had to write quickly about B building a cd rack, because I find it so cute.

B is not the kind of man who does building and car repairs and fix it up stuff. He enjoys sports and heavy metal and internet forums. But he loves his music. Even when we switched to iPods, I convinced him to still purchase his music the old fashioned way, because part of the joy in that for him is peeling the plastic off and reading the booklet. and I love Apple, but I think it sucks that if you lose your hard drive, you lose your music. I am still a hard copy kind of gal. So today he's building a cd rack.

He asked if I had a Phillips screw driver because he only has a flathead, so I found my trusty dusty dollar store screw driver thing with all different heads, and he began furiously building.

Its almost done now, as I took a break on this post to talk on the phone. Football and cd rack building, and I'm reading about guide dogs.

Knock on wood, I think I'm in the home stretch of this cold from hell. Hope I didn't just jinx myself.